Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
