the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
