Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
