I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
