the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
