she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
