Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
