guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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