thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
