Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
