I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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