In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
