i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
where am i from again
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
