We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
