Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
