Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
