Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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