ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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