Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
