Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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