Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
