You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize