Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
