I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
