Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
