Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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