I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
