I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
