Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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