everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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