He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
