I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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