I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
