Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
