Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I had to cum in my sink.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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