I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
