You made me cry and you don't even care
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
