idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
