I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
