No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
