i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
