so that wasnt chicken after all
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
