Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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