I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
