She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
