Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
