I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
