I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
