Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We are all done wearing pants today
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
