After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
