have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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