I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
