it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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