She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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