I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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