I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
