You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
