After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
